Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
