Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
