so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
