So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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