Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
