At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
