I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
