it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
