Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
