Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
