so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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