splinters make it hard to masturbate
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
