When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
