youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
This is the high leading the old right now
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
