We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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