So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
