I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
no you cant smoke seaweed
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Your cock deserves a montage
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
