shes about as inviting as chlamydia
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
