Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
