you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
