i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
