I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
