just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
