im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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