i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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