i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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