i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
