If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
