It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
