i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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