I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
