I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
