i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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