what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
