My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I puked a lego.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
