i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
