you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You are a genius and a whore.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
