we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
