I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
