Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
