Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
