when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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