when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
