he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
