Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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