Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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