Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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