NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
