so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
