yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
