I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
